I dont know if it was while I was washing or if it had walked into the trap by itself… I had been staring at the fly struggling in the pool (more like a few drops) for a few minutes.
At first I thought it was playing in the water because what attracted me was the way it seemed to be running to and fro inside the pool. It took a little while for me to realise that it was trying to GET OUT of the water.
After a while I noticed it would scurry from one end of the tiny pool of water and then turn and repeat the journey in another direction… what I found amazing was that it always turned just when it had very nearly reached the end of the pool to “dry land”.
that was when I realised that it didn’t know that it was at the end of the pool
– so it would just walk, walk,and then seeing no dry land, turn and head in another direction.
I pulled a chair and sat down to watch. I couldn’t understand it, how could it not know that it was almost free at each point before turning to head back into the pool. I wished it could hear me so I could shout;
“you silly fool, you could have been free a long time ago”
I watched its pace change from fast scurrying around to a much slower drag as it seemed to now crawl around. I could pick it of the water but I couldn’t and I was angry with it…
why couldnt it just take that one (okay maybe four or five) steps that would lead it out of the pool; was it blind – could it not see dry land?
I left the kitchen and took the chair back to my room. I sent an email or two and then I remembered the silly fly and thought to go back and check up on it.
by the time I got back, it was dead. It was still in the water, it had the two back legs touching dry ground but its body was fully submerged in the pool – so I assumed it must have died while it was turning again to head in the other direction…
even in death, it didnt realise it could have been free – just one more step.
I just started crying. I was both sad and angry at the same time.
how could it not have known? why did it not take a few more steps in the same direction? why did it keep turning around when it was so close to the end?…
a few hours later, when I was on my bed, He started speaking
“do you realise you humans arent any different from that fly? you find yourselves in little pools prepared by the enemy or by accident.
but you are always too busy trying to get out of it that often times you do not realise that you already have a part of you on dry ground…but because you cant feel the full blast of fresh air signifying dry land, you head back in (your own definition of trying another approach).
then when people ask you, you say fasting is not working, I want to try praying (or any of the many other ways we decide our problems will be solved)…
finally, you give up and die in the man made pool “
I didn’t feel fantastic after that, but at least I knew of other areas where I could make improvement –
the fly was dead forever… but you guys are still alive – we all, struggling in our different pools
The worst thing that could happen would be in many years for you to look back and realise that you were one step away from a life changing breakthrough but you didnt make it because you were not persistent enough…
Remember, the fly was persistent..only it was not in the right direction!